22. Should I tell him I’m HIV positive?
Sex and relationships
Living with HIV and AIDS
Dear Auntie Stella
I am a 19 year old woman and I found out I am HIV positive a year ago. At first I was shocked but I told my sister and she helped me to tell my mother. We never tell other people – I am not sick and I can still do my dressmaking.
Recently I met Thando at the choir I joined. I like him and he is proposing love to me. But now I am so worried. I don’t want to tell him that I am positive because he won’t want me for a girlfriend. Also he might tell others around here and they will stop coming to me for sewing.
I wonder if someone like me can have a boyfriend now. At my support group they say it is fine to have sex if we use condoms, but I am still afraid. Is it better to wait for a boyfriend who is also HIV positive so he will understand and not blame me?
So, these are my questions: can I accept Thando’s love and if I do, must I tell him about the HIV before I become his girlfriend? Auntie, please give me some advice.