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  • What have you learnt about chiramu/sibale and ZINATHA?
  • Practice with a friend - saying NO to unwanted sex.
  • Is there a similar problem you should tell someone about?

I am shocked by what you tell me. I am afraid your brother-in-law is just lying about tradition to make you sleep in his room. In both Shona and Ndebele culture, chiramu is only a playful teasing friendship between a girl and her older brother-in-law. It does NOT mean that the girl is supposed to have sex with him; this is not accepted in our cultures. You should definitely say "no".

Does your sister know about this situation? Discuss it with her or any sympathetic adult who can help you.

There are other reasons why it is wrong for your baba mukuru to try and have sex with you. It is illegal for anyone to have sex with any girl or boy under the age of 16. Any adult who does this can go to prison for many years. The Zimbabwe Traditional Healers Association, ZINATHA, also forbids any activity where an adult has sex with a child. Also, it is illegal to force anyone of any age to have sex when they don't want to. This is rape and should be reported to the police.

Even if your brother-in-law throws you out of the house, that is not as bad as the possible consequences of having sex with him - the chances of getting pregnant or being infected with an STD or HIV/AIDS.

Auntie Stella

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