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I
am shocked by what you tell me. I am afraid your brother-in-law
is just lying about tradition to make you sleep in his room.
In both Shona and Ndebele culture, chiramu is only a playful
teasing friendship between a girl and her older brother-in-law.
It does NOT mean that the girl is supposed to have sex with
him; this is not accepted in our cultures. You should definitely
say "no".
Does
your sister know about this situation? Discuss it with her
or any sympathetic adult who can help you.
There
are other reasons why it is wrong for your baba mukuru to
try and have sex with you. It is illegal for anyone to have
sex with any girl or boy under the age of 16. Any adult who
does this can go to prison for many years. The Zimbabwe Traditional
Healers Association, ZINATHA, also forbids any activity where
an adult has sex with a child. Also, it is illegal to force
anyone of any age to have sex when they don't want to. This
is rape and should be reported to the police.
Even
if your brother-in-law throws you out of the house, that is
not as bad as the possible consequences of having sex with
him - the chances of getting pregnant or being infected with
an STD or HIV/AIDS.
Auntie Stella
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