Auntie Stella


Auntie Stella was produced by Training and Research Support Centre (Zimbabwe)
Box CY2720, Causeway, Harare, Zimbabwe
Phone: 263-4-795124

28. My girlfriend’s getting married

Theme: Relationships with family and community
Changing Society

Dear Farai

I’m sorry your girlfriend is in such a difficult situation but I’m glad you are ready to support her.

The lobola system works well when it is applied correctly but not when families are only motivated by money. It is against a woman’s human rights to be forced to marry against her will.

Talk to Susie and find out how she wants you to help her.  The two of you can then work together to find a solution to this problem.

Maybe you and Susie can talk to other members of her family about what is best for her. If they are sympathetic, they can support her in discussions with her parents.

If there is still no change, Susie can approach a woman’s organisation for help. But this could mean breaking relations with her family. That’s a big decision for Susie, so try to support her and don’t add extra pressure to the stress she is already feeling.

The situation is difficult, but I hope you will get help from someone within your girlfriend’s family or from your community.

Auntie Stella

Action Points

  • During the next week, interview 10 people, both adults and young people, and ask them whether they think parents have the right to choose who their sons and daughters should marry. Come back together and discuss what you found out.

  • Think of other examples where young people and adults have different ideas about how things should be done. How can you find a way to discuss these differences, understand each other’s point of view, and work out solutions together?

  • Arrange a session where you use some of the Auntie Stella cards with a mixed group of teenagers and adults.  Ask the adults to discuss the talking and action points. Then talk about your views. Were they very different?

Did this help to close the gap between the age groups?