Auntie Stella

33. My church says condoms are wrong

Theme: Safer sex

Dear Auntie Stella

I’m a young guy of 18 years and I really love my girlfriend. We’ve been going out now for 10 months. We haven’t slept together yet but we touch and kiss a lot. I know we’re going to have sex soon – we both want to.

But I have a problem. I am a religious person and my pastor says that condoms are wrong and nobody must use them, even in marriage.

He says I shouldn’t have sex before I get married. I don’t agree with him because we’re definitely going to marry later. Before I found the Lord I already slept with a few girls. I know that was wrong but now I’m in love for real and I want to show it.

Then there’s another thing. Some people at my church say condoms have tiny invisible holes that let HIV through, so they don’t protect you at all. Is this true?

Auntie Stella, please help me. What can I do?


Talking points


  • What does your religion teach about sex and relationships? Make a list. Do you agree with everything? What do you disagree with and why?

  • Munyaradzi is worried about whether condoms really prevent HIV – what would you tell him?

  • What could happen to Munyaradzi and his girlfriend if they have sex and don’t use condoms?

  • What advice would you give to Munyaradzi and his girlfriend?