Dear Themba

It’s difficult when people want different things from a relationship, and it seems that sex is more important to you than to your girlfriend. However, very few girls want to rush into sex. They are unhappy when boys treat them like property and expect to buy sex from them in return for gifts and money.

Many girls and boys prefer to avoid the problems that arise from having sex when you are still a teenager. They don’t want to be worrying about pregnancy, STIs and HIV so they choose to abstain until they are older.

Think about a good relationship – is it just a way to get sex, or do you want to be with a real friend who cares about you? If you want this kind of friendship and love you need to think about what your girlfriend wants. Don’t pressure her into having sex; she doesn’t want to.

Some people might still treat girls differently from boys, but attitudes are generally changing now. Boys and girls are treated as equals.  I hope you’ll have the courage to treat your girlfriend as your equal in the future and that you will be happy together.

Auntie Stella