Dear Farai

I’m sorry your girlfriend is in such a difficult situation but I’m glad you are ready to support her.

The lobola system works well when it is applied correctly but not when families are only motivated by money. It is against a woman’s human rights to be forced to marry against her will.

Talk to Susie and find out how she wants you to help her.  The two of you can then work together to find a solution to this problem.

Maybe you and Susie can talk to other members of her family about what is best for her. If they are sympathetic, they can support her in discussions with her parents.

If there is still no change, Susie can approach a woman’s organisation for help. But this could mean breaking relations with her family. That’s a big decision for Susie, so try to support her and don’t add extra pressure to the stress she is already feeling.

The situation is difficult, but I hope you will get help from someone within your girlfriend’s family or from your community.

Auntie Stella