Auntie Stella

TARSC

Auntie Stella was produced by Training and Research Support Centre (Zimbabwe)
Box CY2720, Causeway, Harare, Zimbabwe
Phone: 263-4-795124
Email: admin@tarsc.org
Website: www.tarsc.org

37. Love stops me from studying

Theme: Growing up

Dear Farayi

Love at the age of 17 can be as serious as love at 27. But you do need to keep the rest of life going while also feeling all dreamy and romantic inside. Fortunately, millions of lovers have found that the first few crazy months of love do change into something calmer and deeper, so you may soon find it easier to concentrate on your books.

However, being aware of the problem is a great first step towards solving it. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings and discuss how you can be together AND carry on with your studies.

Maybe you can set aside special times to see each other. Or agree that you’ll only see each other when you’ve finished studying a certain subject. Or, if she’s got exams too, you could try studying together – as long as you can keep your eyes on your books and your hands off each other! If your relationship is good, even boring tasks like weeding can be fun if you do them together.

Whatever you decide, you and your girlfriend can encourage each other to do your schoolwork. Your dreams in life – romantic and otherwise – will have a better chance if you can get through those exams.

Auntie Stella

Action Points

Write a song or a poem about the good and bad things that love can do to you. Read or sing it to your group. Did most of you see the good or the bad side of love, or were they about the same?

‘It’s love that makes the world go round, but it doesn’t put bread on the table.’ Make up your own proverb about love. Which ones do you like best?

In pairs, work out a weekly schedule. Put in times for study or work, sport or clubs, helping the family, reading and time off – that’s when you can see your partner.Be realistic.

Sometimes our feelings – happy or sad – seem like a fast-flowing river after heavy rains, and we can’t get our feet on firm ground. If this ever happens to you, what helps you feel more balanced – praying, talking to a good friend, helping someone else, or doing sport, for example? Tell the group, and promise to support each other when you need help.